No more: A songfic
by TropicCitrus
Summary: Humanstuck AU, songfic, I messed with the characters a little bit to make it fit, my apologies. Rated T just in case- drunken dad. Aradia x Sollux


**AN: Humanstuck AU. Songfic- sorry if taking a song from a play counts as "cheating" because it's kind of already got a story to it.  
Song: No More, from Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark.  
I do not own Homestuck nor Spiderman.**

**Vrisko = Genderbent Vriska.**

**This made sense in my head, but I am tired. So apologies if it doesn't to any readers...**

_Don't talk, just walk  
Going nuts, hate my guts  
Get good grades, another shove  
Stop being a loser, stop being in love_

Sollux Captor was at the very bottom of the social ladder. His intelligence naturally set him apart from everyone else. Nobody liked to talk to the nerd, especially not one who couldn't even afford winter clothes. Whenever it got cold, he was forced to pile on a bunch of shirts. Whenever someone asked him if he was cold, he'd pretend it was nothing. It hurt worst when, oh gog, his neighbors would offer him jackets, or maybe the bus driver. He didn't need their charity. He was chilled to the bone, but he didn't want anyone seeing _him_ with someone else's clothes.

To make matters worse, Sollux spoke with a lisp. His fifth grade science fair project on moss growing rates, he knew, was not very wisely chosen. Even to this day, he'd still get the occasional jeer about being "bug boy."

Interests aside, Sollux didn't look even _vaguely_ look normal. His eyes were mismatched- one blue and one green. What kind of freak had two different eyes? To hide them, Sollux usually wore tinted glasses, but he had to take them off sometimes…

His pale-blonde hair, which he never bothered to comb, matched his complexion. Why, oh _why_, did he have to have a crush on Aradia Megido, who had never had a boyfriend? She always said to Equius that she was "saving herself" for the guy of her dreams. Nobody knew who he was, perhaps a Hollywood star. Who else would be better than a member of the prominent Zahhak family?

Not to mention, Sollux knew he'd blown his chances with Aradia a long time ago. In second grade, while big cooty wars were going on, Vrisko Serket had pretended to be his friend. He told him that to earn ultimate kingdom of the grade, all Sollux had to do was push Aradia. She was friends with all the girls, even some in _third_ grade! Sollux took on the challenge. While Aradia was at the top of the playscape, he had given her a light shove- but he hadn't had the best timing. Aradia had lost her balance and fell off, breaking her arm. Sollux knew she'd forgiven him almost immediately, but the guilt still carried in him.

_And why do I need these stupid glasses?  
I'd give my life to be  
Anyone but me, yeah  
Anyone but me, I wanna be  
Anyone but me_

Sollux took off his tinted glasses. Screw this with hiding behind them; what was the point if everyone knew his "secret"? He let his hand fall to his side and the glasses to slip out of his grasp. Some elementary kid might be proud by his discovery.

Why couldn't he have been born someone else?

_This isn't home, just a house  
Broken door, broken glass_

Aradia Megido pranced her way out of school, her chestnut curls flying in the wind behind her, until she knew she was out of everyone's sight. She slowed down to a walk. Aradia kept up this always-cheerful charade for as long as she could remember, but when nobody was watching, she would let go. Not just of the charade, but of everything. She didn't have anything left when you took away her outer shell.

To everyone else, she seemed like just an everyday girl. She was always smiling, always happy. She always had her nails painted and her outfits were cute. If they bothered to look deeper into her soft, brown eyes, though, they would notice a faint sadness.

Aradia dreaded the ending bell of the school day, unlike most students. While they couldn't wait to get home, she really could. The reason she never kept her friends too close and insisted on doing group projects at school was because of one thing: her dad.

She stopped thinking of her house as a home a long time ago. Her mother was never home, only briefly stopping in for a few hours of rest between her jobs. Her dad was the main consumer of money, and was out of the house a lot for a different reason.

_Dad'll yell; tune him out  
He's drunk, by now he has to shout_

Arnold Megido was not a pleasant man. Aradia mainly avoided talking to him because the only reason he went home was if he'd been kicked out of a bar.

_Keep on walking, just ignore  
Just get to your room and shut the door;  
Let me disappear or just be  
Anywhere but here, yeah  
Anywhere but here, I wanna be  
Anywhere but here_

Aradia slowly pushed her front door open, careful not to make a peep. She did not need her dad to have another outburst at her for not having a job yet. She'd like to point out that he didn't have one either, but it never worked. It would always end up with a blow to the face or more broken dishes.

Aradia heard him vomiting in the bathroom. She was relieved that she wouldn't have to face him today, but she also knew that she'd have to clean up his puke after he'd passed out.

She wished she could have somewhere else to stay.

_Every day is like a war and I'm losing it  
I'm taking hits from every side, every side that there is_

Sollux hated himself. He couldn't say anything to those who sneered at him whenever he passed them in the halls, and gog knew he couldn't _do_ anything.

_Every day I feel the walls are closing in; credits now begin;  
Gotta get myself right out of this place_

Suddenly, Aradia got the urge to escape. The smell of liquor and vomit was just too much for her to handle, and the state of the house was just disgusting. She swung open the front door and ran out. She didn't care that the door slammed behind her, or that her dad was now aware of her presence. She just had to get _out._

_Anyone but me (I count the grass as it grows)_

_Anywhere but here (I go to sleep in my clothes)_

_(But these shoes don't fit)  
I am not what I've been told (Where do I, where do I live?)  
I am not what I've been sold (What do I take?)  
I'm at the point of possibility (Who will I find?)  
I can almost glimpse infinity  
I am not where I belong (Is it now?)_

Sollux couldn't bear being himself. He felt like he belonged more in one of the stories he read. Maybe he was supposed to be born a hero? Was he meant to be a poor loser? Maybe he was made to be the hot policeman in one of his closest-to-being-a-friend, Karkat Vantas', trashy romance novels?

Who was he kidding? He couldn't be anyone.

Casting his gaze downward, Sollux sighed and continued walking home. He wished he had the guts to at least say something to Aradia, but who knew what went on in her perfect world? She couldn't possibly understand him.  
-x-  
Aradia felt like she didn't belong in her situation. Weren't girls supposed to be having a great time in high school? Weren't they supposed to _actually_ have no problems besides the occasional chip of a nail?

Aradia knew nobody would be out right now. Or, at least, she thought nobody would be. She sighed and looked at the ground. Look at those ants, so carefree. They only knew duty. They didn't know what emotions were like, what having a workaholic mother and just plain terrible father was like. They didn't know what pretending to be happy was like.

She wished she could just be like that. The ants didn't even have love; they just had a queen who made all of them. They didn't know what she went through. Every day, Aradia would turn down Equius' requests for dates. He'd ask her why, and Aradia knew she couldn't tell him either. Even if a date didn't imply meeting her father, she was too smitten for someone that nobody would ever believe. Her life at school, which was all she had, would be ruined if she said that the one guy she liked was none other than Sollux Captor. If only she wasn't scared to say something.

But what would everyone think? If she asked him out, he'd probably think she was joking, and bring them further apart. And even if he knew she was serious, she'd be made a joke of. Why couldn't she have just had a normal home life, so that she'd always have something to go back to?

_And I can see an open door  
And I can't live like this, no more  
I can't live like this, no more  
I can't live like this!_

Aradia and Sollux were simultaneously jolted out of their thoughts when they felt another warm body suddenly bump against theirs. They looked up to find that they were both looking at the object of their affection. They stood for a minute, amazed, just looking at each other.

"U-um…" Sollux stammered. "I wathn't ekthpecting to thee you…"

"N-neither was I," said Aradia. "Uh… What are you doing?"

"I'm jutht…" Sollux lost his train of thought for a second, still amazed at this. Maybe this would be the day he'd say something to her? But he had to act normal first! Sollux started to avoid S's. "Walking home. And you?"

"I was just taking an afternoon walk." Aradia felt her heart thumping. Maybe she should make a move? But she just couldn't right away. Here was her chance, slipping away. She had an open door, she could just not care what everyone else thought… "Maybe we should walk together for a bit?" Aradia found herself say.

"That… would be great," Sollux said, dumbfounded. Could she really want to hang out with him? He couldn't believe his luck.

_No more  
No, no, no  
No, no, no  
No, no, no more_

After a minute of walking, Aradia felt the silence growing. She had to either make a move, or it would be awkward. But what would she do?

Aradia knew it was time to just give up on social statuses. Who cares?

She slowly reached her hand over and grabbed Sollux's.


End file.
